The 5 baby signs every parent should teach at mealtime, according to a speech expert
As a seasoned mom, I know that mealtime with babies and toddlers can feel less like a wholesome family moment and more like a food-throwing, tantrum-inducing circus. But here’s something that might make those chaotic dinner hours actually worth it—mealtime is secretly one of the best times to help your little one learn to communicate. And no, you don’t need to turn into a Pinterest-perfect mom narrating every carrot stick. You just need to show up and pay attention.
We talked with Stephanie Cohen, M.A., CCC-SLP, CLC, an early speech and feeding expert and author of the Learn to Talk with Me board book series (her newest, I Can Say Eat, just hit shelves), about how to transform mealtimes from survival mode into genuine connection—while teaching your kid to tell you what they actually want.
Why mealtime is communication gold
Think about it: from day one, your baby is telling you they’re hungry. They root toward your breast, turn away from the bottle, or scream until you figure it out. “Even new babies are communicating; they’re just not using words yet,” Cohen explains. And when you respond—when you say “You’re hungry! It’s time to eat!” and actually feed them—your baby learns something crucial: My communication matters. Someone is listening.
This back-and-forth continues as your baby grows. They reach for your bagel at six months? They’re communicating. They push away the blueberries at 18 months? Still communicating. “This is like a language-rich dance that happens repeatedly every single day,” Cohen says. “Children who learn that their communication matters are motivated to communicate more with the caregivers they love.”
Translation: Mealtime isn’t just about getting food into your kid. It’s about building trust, teaching them they have a voice, and—bonus—potentially reducing some of those why-are-you-screaming-I-literally-don’t-know-what-you-want moments.
Start from day one (yes, really)
You don’t need to wait until your baby is babbling to start this communication thing. “You can start from day one!” Cohen emphasizes. When your newborn turns their head away from a bottle, narrate it: “You’re telling me you’re full!” When your six-month-old lunges toward your plate, respond: “That’s mama’s pasta—would you like to feel it?”
By 8-12 months, many babies can start using simple gestures like pointing or signing “more.” But even before that, you’re laying the foundation just by responding to their cues and putting words to their actions.
The baby sign language for mealtime that will save your sanity
If you’ve never tried baby sign language, hear us out. Teaching a few key signs can dramatically cut down on mealtime meltdowns because suddenly your kid has a way to tell you what they need before they resort to shrieking or flinging food across the kitchen.
Cohen recommends starting with these power players:
“More” – Tap your fingertips together (both hands, all fingertips touching each other). The ultimate tool for kids to communicate they want something. Game-changer.
“All done” – Hold both hands up and twist them back and forth (like you’re showing jazz hands, but with a twist). “This one is crucial because it gives your child a way to let you know they’ve had enough,” Cohen says. No more guessing if they’re done or just bored.
A sign for a favorite food or drink – Whether it’s “milk,” “cookie,” or “apple,” this helps your child be specific instead of just signing “more” for everything while you play a guessing game. For “milk,” open and close your fist like you’re milking a cow. For “drink,” make a C-shape with your hand and bring it to your mouth like you’re holding a cup.
“Help” – Place one flat hand (palm up) under the other closed fist, then lift both hands together. For when they can’t open that snack pouch or get the pea on their fork. Prevents frustration for everyone involved.
“Eat” – Bring your fingertips to your mouth (all fingertips together, like you’re holding something tiny). So they can tell you they’re hungry before the hangry meltdown begins.
Why these specifically? “Because they give your child agency,” Cohen explains. “They can request, communicate fullness, and feel more understood. That’s what responsive feeding is all about!”
(Want to learn proper ASL signs? Cohen recommends checking out Emilee Segura and Marissa Ramos on Instagram for parent-friendly resources.)
Keep it natural (not like a college lecture)
The key to making this work is to not turn mealtime into a quiz show. You’re not interrogating your toddler about whether that’s a banana or testing them on colors. You’re just… narrating life.
“Simply put—describe what you and your child are doing,” Cohen advises. Try things like “Let’s get your milk out! Here is your bottle” or “I just took a big bite of my apple. It is so crunchy!” You’re just describing what’s already happening—no pressure, no performance.
And here’s permission you might need to hear: “You don’t need to talk constantly! It’s totally fine to have quiet moments while everyone’s eating,” Cohen says. Sometimes the best learning happens when your kid is just watching you eat your food like a normal human. “Just be present, eat your food, and connect with your child. That’s it. That’s enough.”
When your kid is more interested in physics than eating
So your toddler keeps yeeting food off the high chair. Before you lose it, Cohen wants you to ask yourself: Why are they throwing?
Plot twist: it might not mean they’re done or being defiant. “Infants and toddlers are like little scientists, experimenting and learning about objects,” Cohen explains. They might genuinely just be fascinated by gravity. (Thrilling for them, infuriating for you.)
That said, it could also mean they’re all done, overwhelmed, or bored. Either way, “actions are communication too.” Your job is to figure out what they’re saying and respond: “I see you’re all done,” then model the “all done” sign. You’re teaching them a better way to communicate than turning the floor into a Jackson Pollock.
Pro tip from Cohen: ditch the high chair tray and pull your kid up to the table. “It reduces the temptation to throw when three edges of a tray aren’t right there!” Mind. Blown.
Surviving the picky eating phase without losing your mind
Many toddlers hit a phase where they suddenly hate everything they loved yesterday. It’s common, it usually passes, and it’s not a reflection of your parenting. But how do you keep communication going when your kid won’t eat anything?
First, watch your language. “I recommend parents avoid labeling their child as ‘picky‘ or ‘stubborn’ or foods as ‘junk’ or ‘unhealthy,'” Cohen says. Kids are listening, even when you think they’re not paying attention.
Second, remember your role: you offer the food and respond to their communication. Their role: they decide what and how much to eat. When they push away those formerly beloved blueberries, you can say, “You’re showing me you don’t want that right now; we also have strawberries and oatmeal for breakfast. Would you like a fork?”
You’re still communicating, still responding, still teaching—even if they’re not actually eating the food you hoped they would. “They’re learning words (and about eating) even when they’re not yet ready to eat the food,” Cohen reassures.
And don’t forget: communication isn’t just about the food itself. Can they help bring plates to the table? Can they sign “please”? Can they ask for “help”? “Mealtime routines are full of opportunities to communicate and respond,” Cohen says. “Trust the process.”
What a real mealtime looks like
Let’s walk through lunch with a 14-month-old, Cohen-style:
Before sitting down: “It’s time for lunch. Let’s wash our hands. Here’s some soap!” (Let them help turn on the water.)
Heading to the table: “Let’s go to the table! Can you help me bring the fruit?”
Serving food: Talk about what you’re offering. “We have a sandwich, fruit salad, and some crackers.”
They reach for blueberries: “Oh, you want blueberries! Here you go.” (You just responded to their nonverbal communication and labeled it.)
They sign “more”: “More blueberries? Okay!” Give them more.
They’re struggling with their fork: “Do you need help?” Model the sign, then help them. Add a playful “poke, poke!” to keep it fun.
They start throwing food: “It looks like you’re all done with that.” Model “all done.” Then respond—offer something else or end the meal.
See? You’re just talking about what’s happening and responding to what they’re showing you. No master’s degree required.
The one thing to do today
If you’re barely keeping it together at dinner (and honestly, who isn’t?), Cohen has one simple piece of advice: “Just share mealtime and connect responsively.”
That’s it. Sit together. Pay attention to what your kid is communicating. Respond to it. “When you respond to their communication, they learn to trust you and that their communication matters,” she says.
Dinner is often the most stressful meal—everyone’s exhausted. But remember: “Mealtime is as much about connection and love and we can communicate that by just being together.”
What to actually expect
Here’s a rough timeline of mealtime communication milestones, but remember—every kid is different:
6-9 months: Your baby communicates through reaching, turning away, opening their mouth for more, or pushing your hand away.
9-12 months: More intentional gestures like pointing, head shaking, or simple signs like “more.”
12-18 months: Several signs used consistently, paired with word approximations like “muh” for more.
18-24 months: Combining words, signs, and gestures. Starting to put two words together.
2+ years: Mostly using words, can tell you they’re hungry and ask for specific foods.
What matters most? Progress, not perfection. “Is your child communicating MORE effectively than they were a month ago?” Cohen asks. “Are they using ANY tool to express their needs? Let’s celebrate THAT.”
The bottom line
Teaching your baby to communicate at mealtime isn’t about being the perfect parent or making every meal a teachable moment. It’s about paying attention, responding to what your kid is already telling you (even if it’s just a grunt and a point), and giving them tools to tell you what they need before they have to resort to screaming or throwing things.
As Cohen puts it: “When a child feels good at mealtimes, it motivates them to want to come back again and again for more learning.” And honestly? When mealtimes feel less like a battle and more like actual connection, that motivates us to come back too.
So tonight, just try one thing: notice what your kid is communicating and respond to it. Put words to their actions. Model a sign or two. And remember—you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to show up. We’re all winging it together anyway.
source https://www.mother.ly/baby/baby-learn-play/baby-sign-language-for-mealtime/
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