This mom’s take on ‘flexible’ jobs is hitting a nerve with working parents everywhere
It’s 9 p.m., your kids are finally asleep, and your laptop is still open. You’ve answered a few emails, filled out a school form, and maybe even finished tidying the kitchen. The quiet of the night is your only chance to get real work done—the kind that requires focus, flow, and no interruptions.
A mom on TikTok is going viral for showing how flexible jobs can turn into 24-hour parenting shifts. Experts weigh in on the mental load and how to reclaim deep work at home.
For many moms, this scene is all too familiar. TikTok creator @sheisapaigeturner, whose video has racked up over 96,000 views, captured it perfectly:
“Being the parent with the flexible job is a blessing and a curse.” Her caption adds context many parents will recognize: “Being the parent with the more flexible job can be amazing but also can be difficult to manage and result in feeling like you’re always switching back and forth,” said the text on her video.
Every mom who’s worked during naptime, folded laundry between Zoom calls, or juggled a conference call while chasing a toddler will nod along. Flexibility, it turns out, isn’t always freedom, it can be a trap.
The illusion of flexibility
Research indicates that flexible work arrangements can inadvertently reinforce traditional gender roles, especially in caregiving.
According to an article published on Wired, sociologist Heejung Chung, in her book The Flexibility Paradox, highlights that while flexible work is often promoted as a means to achieve better work-life balance, it can lead to increased working hours and blurred boundaries between work and personal life.
This phenomenon disproportionately affects women, who tend to use flexible hours for caregiving responsibilities, while men are more likely to utilize them for uninterrupted work periods. Chung notes that this dynamic can result in women experiencing what she terms ‘self-exploitation,’ where they take on additional unpaid labor at home, even as they maintain their professional commitments
Paige’s TikTok illustrates the reality: the flexible parent is always on call. Meanwhile, partners with rigid schedules can log in and out, undisturbed, leaving the flexible parent to divide attention between career and family without ever truly stepping away from either.
Related: Business leaders are stepping up to help working parents combat the childcare crisis
Working parents aren’t alone in feeling the flexibility trap
The comments on Paige Turner’s viral TikTok show just how relatable this struggle is for working parents everywhere.
From juggling endless tasks to feeling like their work never truly ends, moms are resonating with the experience of being constantly “on call.” Social media has become a virtual support group, where parents vent, share tips, and validate each other’s exhaustion—and, importantly, their triumphs.
- “The mental load is sooo overwhelming.” @pinellixoxo
- “Sometimes I wonder if it’s my job that’s flexible or if it’s just me.” @iheartzombies
- “I’ve never felt more seen.” @maritzaparra22
- “Legit just cried about this today.” @luciekayb
- “And then how do you handle the guilt when he complains I stay up too late working and don’t give him enough time
.” @dmk_301
These reactions highlight that the mental load of balancing work and family is not just a personal challenge, but a widespread reality many moms navigate daily.
How to reclaim deep work as a parent
The good news? Moms can reclaim focus, but it requires systems, boundaries, and shared accountability:
- Schedule protected focus blocks
Even 45 minutes of uninterrupted work can rebuild momentum. Clearly communicate these blocks to your partner and family: this time is non-negotiable.
- Use “household office hours.”
Borrowing from Rodsky’s framework, designate which parent handles daytime parenting duties or household emergencies. Sharing default-parent tasks creates fairness and reduces the constant mental load on one person.
- Co-create a family “flex plan.”
Map out weekly responsibilities: who handles appointments, sick days, or school pickups. Planning proactively replaces reactive chaos with clear expectations.
Related: Supporting working parents is good for business, full stop
Redefining flexibility for the next generation of parents
Flexibility isn’t the enemy. Inequality is.
The TikTok conversation Paige started is a mirror of a broader societal pattern. Until workplaces and partners value caregiving equally, moms will continue to carry the bulk of invisible labor, even in “flexible” roles.
Imagine if both parents were expected to use flexible hours equally, supported by workplace policies and societal norms. Flexibility could truly mean choice, not default responsibility. Until then, moms will keep logging in late at night, squeezing deep work between diaper changes, homework, and household logistics.
Paige’s video, at its heart, is a quiet but powerful reminder: moms don’t need to work harder, they need real support.
Even small shifts can protect your focus, restore equity, and reclaim your sanity.
Source:
source https://www.mother.ly/news/working-parents-and-the-trap-of-flexible-jobs/
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