Dating Two Men At The Same Time Is Totally Wild
I can honestly say I’ve never dated two men at once until now. Have I dated? Yes, of course. But going out on dates with men, having a few dates with one guy and a few dates with another at the same time to test the waters is different than intentionally, exclusively dating two men at the same time because that’s all I have energy for.
I didn’t plan or mean for this to happen. I’m not being sneaky by any means; they both know that I’m dating because I’ve been clear that’s what I’ll be doing until I want to commit to one man. For me, that takes a while.
In the past, I’ve committed too fast, ruled out all other possibilities, and been very, very sorry. At this stage in life, with divorces and kids and baggage (because we all have it), it takes longer to get to know someone.
So dating them both is the better option for me, but it doesn’t go without its challenges.
When they both text me a sweet good morning message, there have been times I’ve almost gotten back to the wrong man. It wouldn’t be the end of the world, but I’m sure it would feel shitty to them because I know it would feel shitty to me.
There have been a few evenings when one man has called while I’m on a date with the other, and it’s been a few hours until I was able to call them back.
Now, thankfully, they are both respectful of my time, and when they ask what I was up to and I tell them I was at dinner, they don’t ask me any more questions. It’s like a silent understanding, but it still feels strange to me. Dishonest even. And yet I keep doing it because I owe it to myself to take my time. And the reality is that we are dating, and I’m not doing anything wrong.
I’m afraid I’m going to call one of them by the wrong name — very minor, I know. But the bigger problem is I’m avoiding any kind of sexual intimacy with them because I’m a monogamous person. It’s getting harder and harder to avoid.
I’m a woman who has desires, and I’m attracted to both of them. I also feel like there has to be some kind of test drive before committing to someone… if you get what I’m saying. It’s important that piece is there for both of us.
I’m not saying both of these men are begging for me and ready to take me off the market. They are dating too, I’m sure, because their profiles are still active on the site where we met, although they have both told me they aren’t seeing anyone else.
This whole process has become tedious, and it’s no longer fun. I’m tired, I’m not sure where to direct my attention, and the looming feeling of guilt won’t go away. This isn’t something I’ve navigated before. I really like focusing on one person, but it also feels safer to me not to put all my eggs in one basket prematurely. It’s been a hard lesson to learn, but after dating for almost a decade, it’s about time I learn it.
It’s rare to meet one man I like, much less two, and it’s an opportunity that will probably never present itself again in my entire life, so I might as well explore while it’s here.
Hopefully not too much longer though. My brain is scattered, and honestly, I’m ready to get laid. By the right man, of course.
Diana Park is a writer who finds solitude in a good book, the ocean, and eating fast food with her kids.
source https://www.scarymommy.com/lifestyle/dating-two-men-at-once-is-wild
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