Gaby Dalkin on fertility struggles, keeping it simple in the kitchen, and learning not to feel overwhelmed
Gaby Dalkin has built an empire teaching people to feel fearless in the kitchen—but her own journey to motherhood required a different kind of courage altogether. After five miscarriages and years of fertility struggles, the beloved food creator and cookbook author finally became a mom during the uncertainty of COVID-19. Now, with two young children and three thriving businesses under her belt, she’s bringing that same philosophy of confidence and resilience to every part of her life. In a candid conversation on The Motherly Podcast, Dalkin opens up about recurrent pregnancy loss, the wild story of how her daughter came to be, and why she’s determined to keep things simple—both in the kitchen and in motherhood.
Meet the expert: Gaby Dalkin is the force behind What’s Gaby Cooking, a digital media empire she’s been building since 2010. A former private chef turned OG food blogger, she’s the author of multiple cookbooks, founder of the CPG brand Dalkin and Co, and owner of Gaby’s restaurant with multiple locations. Known for her approachable recipes and fearless approach to cooking, Dalkin has created a community of home cooks who feel empowered to get creative in the kitchen. She lives in California with her husband Thomas, who now works alongside her in the business, and their two children, Poppy and Finn.
Liz Tenety: We always like to start by asking what surprised you about motherhood?
Gaby Dalkin: Oh my God, what didn’t surprise me about motherhood? Motherhood’s crazy. We tried for so long to have kids. I think I was so ready to be a mom by the time we actually had Poppy. I had seen all of my friends have babies, so I kind of knew what to expect for the most part. But I think the most shocking thing was how absolutely horrifically painful your milk coming in was. Nobody prepped me for that. So that was alarming.
Liz Tenety: You’ve been very open about your fertility journey. Can you tell our listeners what that was like?
Gaby Dalkin: We got pregnant when we started trying and got pregnant very quickly. I remember going over to my parents’ house to tell them—my parents are doctors, so when I said I was nine weeks, there was no jumping up and down. They were like, “The first trimester is very hit or miss. Let’s get to 12 weeks.” Two weeks later, I miscarried. I was like, okay, this happens to one in four pregnancies, no big deal. Then it happened again. And again and again and again. Five in a row.
Liz Tenety: What was it like emotionally to go through that?
Gaby Dalkin: The first two times I was unfazed because the statistics didn’t scare me at first. After the third one, I was like, this is bizarre, we should go see a fertility specialist. What flipped it for me is when I became very open about talking about my miscarriages. I finally said on Instagram, “Hey, this is no longer an acceptable thing to ask someone. Here’s our story. We’ve miscarried five times.” That changed everything because it opened up this entire world. Being part of having infertility issues is the shittiest club to be a part of with the absolute best members.
Liz Tenety: So what happened with Poppy’s pregnancy?
Gaby Dalkin: It’s just a psychotic story. COVID happened and I had been seeing my fertility doctor for maybe a year. We were just trying naturally and tracking everything. A couple months into COVID, I was peeing on sticks all the time and I was a week late. I peed on a stick, I was pregnant. We didn’t get excited—we’d been down this road before. I went in for blood work and the lab called me back and said, “You’re not pregnant anymore.” Two weeks go by and I should have gotten my period. My dad’s like, “Pee on a stick again, this is weird.” Turns out the lab mixed up my blood results with someone else. I was still pregnant and that’s how Poppy came to be.
Liz Tenety: How has cooking as a mom changed the way you cook and eat?
Gaby Dalkin: Everything is faster. There’s no cooking anything that’s going to take 45 to 50 minutes in my kitchen. We need dinner on the table in 15 to 20 minutes. Poppy likes to be involved when she wants to be, so I find things that are appropriate for her—measuring ingredients, whisking. I let her do enough without giving her something that would potentially ruin the meal or get her too close to the flame.
Liz Tenety: What would you say to a mom who’s in a food rut?
Gaby Dalkin: I think it’s always really a beautiful gift to give yourself when you keep it simple. Pick one meal that you think is going to make your family happy—maybe it’s meatballs, maybe it’s a fun stir fry—and master it. Just get confident in it. Then build on it because once you feel comfortable with one thing, you’ll feel comfortable adding something else. All of a sudden you’re not stressing about two nights of dinner a week and you’ve got leftovers. The building blocks that come from that are very powerful.
Liz Tenety: You work with your husband Thomas. How do you make that work?
Gaby Dalkin: Boundaries don’t exist. I begged Thomas to come work with me for years and he was so anti. The first week was miserable—he was like, “I don’t want to sit next to you all day long.” Everything changed when he got his own working space. We’re not actually together all day long. We both oversee such different parts of the business. We understand each other’s strengths and we don’t get in each other’s way.
Liz Tenety: At Motherly, we believe that motherhood unlocks our superpowers. What do you see as yours?
Gaby Dalkin: I think my superpower is my ability to not feel overwhelmed. When you’re operating essentially three businesses, you’ve got two kids, you’ve got friends, a husband, parents—there’s a lot pulling you in different directions. Plus filling yourself up. I think that is my superpower, to be able to handle it.
source https://www.mother.ly/podcasts/gaby-dalkin-motherly-podcast/
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