Ms. Rachel’s refreshingly real take on picky eaters and mom guilt

If you’ve ever felt like you’re the only mom who doesn’t have it together—who isn’t sneaking kale into smoothies or meal-prepping organic bento boxes—Ms. Rachel has news for you: she doesn’t either.

“People are like, ‘Ms. Rachel, you’re the best parent ever,'” she tells me during our interview. “And like, no, I make mistakes, I struggle. I call my mom and get advice and say, hey, I messed up and I’m feeling guilty.”

Here’s the woman whose videos have soothed millions of toddlers along with their completely frazzled parents admitting that she’s calling her mom for backup. She’s Googling parenting advice. She’s reading Dr. Becky Kennedy’s books. She’s dealing with a picky eater and a baby who wants to smear yogurt everywhere.

In other words? She’s one of us. And frankly, she’s a national treasure for being willing to say so. (And well, for like all the other things, too.)

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The myth we’re all buying into

Ms. Rachel’s mom has a pretty solid approach to those inevitable parenting guilt spirals: “My mom’s like, just move forward now. The unconditional love is the most important thing and you have that and like, no parent’s perfect.”

It’s advice Ms. Rachel clearly takes to heart, because she’s acutely aware of the impossible standards we’re all measuring ourselves against—standards that don’t actually exist.

“I think a lot of us think that the other mom is shredding kale to put into the meatballs,” she says, “and they aren’t necessarily doing that, and everything’s okay.”

Let that sink in for a second. The other mom isn’t doing it either. She’s not making everything from scratch. She’s not perfectly balancing nutrition and palatability and Pinterest-worthy presentation. She’s just trying to get through dinner without a meltdown (hers or the kid’s).

And according to Ms. Rachel, that’s exactly as it should be.

“I think struggling parents need less guilt,” she says, with the kind of conviction that makes you want to write it on a sticky note and plaster it to your fridge. “I think guilt is crippling.”

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What actually works with picky eaters (according to someone dealing with one)

This isn’t theoretical for Ms. Rachel. Her seven-year-old son, Thomas, is a picky eater. So when she talks about strategies that work, she’s talking about strategies she’s actually using in her own kitchen.

Make it a game. “Something fun can be having a taste test,” she suggests. “Like, oh, do you like this flavor yogurt better, or do you like this flavor better? Let’s try both and let’s write down what we think about it.”

It’s genius because you’re not forcing, you’re exploring. You’re making your kid the expert. And if they decide they hate both flavors? Well, at least you tried, and nobody cried about it.

Make food playful. With her 10-month-old daughter, Susie, Ms. Rachel has embraced what can only be described as controlled chaos. “It’s been messy and I’m sorry about the extra cleanup,” she laughs, “but yogurt is good for sensory play.”

The context here is so relatable. Thomas was coloring, Susie wanted to join in, and she had to explain that no, a 10-month-old cannot have crayons because she will absolutely eat them. But yogurt? Yogurt she can smear and squish and essentially use as finger paint.

“That’s actually really good for their development to have those textures and sensory experiences with yogurt,” Ms. Rachel explains. “So, I think making food playful is good.”

Translation: let them make a mess. It’s not chaos, it’s development. (And if that’s not the kind of permission-giving we all need, I don’t know what is.)

Why she’s loyal to Stonyfield (spoiler: her kid actually eats it)

We spoke with Ms. Rachel as part of her partnership with Stonyfield, and here’s the thing about people with her level of integrity: they don’t become spokespeople for brands they don’t actually believe in or use themselves.

So when Ms. Rachel talks about Stonyfield, she’s not reading from talking points—she’s been using it since Thomas was a baby, long before any partnership existed. It’s exactly the kind of authentic relationship that doesn’t feel like a sponsorship at all, because it isn’t one. It’s just what she was already doing.

“We like that it’s organic,” she says. “Our son is picky, and he ate it, and we knew he was getting the probiotics.”

For parents of picky eaters, that last part is huge. When your kid will only eat approximately four foods, you want to make sure those four foods are actually doing something nutritionally useful.

With Susie, the appeal is slightly different: “I love that there’s no added sweeteners, and that it’s organic.”

Ms. Rachel even got to visit one of their farms (she’s vegetarian, so this mattered to her): “That was such a wonderful experience, knowing that the cows are happy.”

It’s the kind of detail that sounds small but isn’t. When you’re making choices about what to feed your kids, knowing where it comes from and how it’s made matters. (Especially when you’re already managing guilt about whether you’re doing enough.)

What actually matters at the end of the day

Here’s where Ms. Rachel brings it all home, and why I’m stone cold convinced she’s just sunshine in human form:

“I think balance is okay and I think guilt is crippling,” she says. “The love is what matters the most.”

Not the organic produce. Not the homemade baby food. Not the perfectly balanced macros or the color-coordinated plates.

The love.

“I think there’s so much mom guilt,” she adds, the weight of a million messages from struggling parents tingeing the tone of her voice. She sees it all—the comments, the DMs, the parents who are barely holding it together and convinced they’re failing.

And her message to all of us is simple: you’re not failing. The other mom isn’t doing it better. Balance is okay. Mess is okay. Yogurt on the walls is actually developmentally appropriate.

And guilt? Guilt can go.

So the next time you’re standing in front of the fridge wondering if you’re failing because your kid only wants chicken nuggets for the third day in a row, remember: even Ms. Rachel’s kid is picky. Even Ms. Rachel is winging it. Even Ms. Rachel calls her mom for advice and leans on Dr. Becky and Googles things at 10 PM.

And according to her, as long as there’s love at the table—even if that table has yogurt smeared all over it—you’re doing just fine.

source https://www.mother.ly/toddler/toddler-nutrition/ms-rachel-on-picky-eaters/