Mel Mah created Calm’s Overstimulated Mom series. Her tips for regulating are refreshingly doable.

There’s a specific kind of tired that doesn’t come from not sleeping enough. It’s the cumulative weight of being needed all day—the questions, the noise, the physical proximity, the mental tabs that never close. You know the feeling. You love your kids and also, your nervous system is absolutely cooked.

Mel Mah knows it too. A meditation instructor, former professional dancer, filmmaker, and creator of Calm’s Relief for Overstimulated Moms series, Mah has been teaching yoga and meditation for 14 years. Her Calm series is three short guided practices within the Calm app—each four minutes or less—including one called Sigh Out the Tension. (Which, honestly, is that not the universal sound of motherhood? Let’s let those sighs work for us.) 

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When I spoke with her recently, what struck me most wasn’t her expertise—it was how genuinely she embodies it. Her guidance feels authentic and soothing, not condescending or holier than thou. Her voice is exactly as calm as it sounds on the app, but not in a performative way. In a way that makes you feel like she actually gets it.

Because she does. Despite more than a decade of practice, Mah says nothing prepared her for the intensity of postpartum anxiety. “I never really experienced anxiety the way I did in my postpartum period,” she told me. “Just being so obsessive over feedings, over everything. Even now, two years later, I’m like, wow, that really was chemical.”

That experience is what drove her to create the Overstimulated Mom series—and, in turn, to reframe the conversation. Because “stress” is broad and overwhelming, but overstimulation? That’s something you can actually work with.

“Another word for anxiety is overstimulated. Another word for all of that is dysregulated,” Mah explained. “Those are all synonyms for each other. And the antidote is grounding—these meditative practices that bring you back into the present.”

What makes Mah’s approach different from the slow-living content currently flooding social media is that she’s not suggesting you overhaul your morning routine or journal for 20 minutes before sunrise. She’s meeting moms where they actually are: mid-meltdown, running on fumes, with a kid in front of them who also needs to be regulated.

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What a realistic reset actually looks like

So what do you do when you’re already at a 10 and your kid is melting down in front of you?

“Those practices look different every time,” Mah said. “Sometimes something that’s regulating for me is screaming into a pillow. Sometimes it means just feeling my feet a little more and taking a few deep breaths.” She also recommends hands-on-body techniques like massaging your own shoulders—things you can do right in front of your kid, without stepping away.

Her favorite, though, is no surprise given her background: a dance party. “Just turn on a song—it can be on your phone, you don’t need a speaker—and start jumping around with your kid,” she said. The research on somatic movement backs this up, and the bonus is that you’re regulating yourself and your child at the same time while building connection. It’s the opposite of compartmentalized wellness. It’s messy, loud, and it actually works.

Mah also shared one idea for the end of the day that feels almost radically simple: just follow your breath for one minute, repeating “I’m breathing in, I’m breathing out.” No attaching it to a goal. No breathing for gratitude or breathing for sleep. Just breathing to create space between you and your thoughts.

The part no one talks about

The most powerful thing Mah said had nothing to do with a technique. It was about what happens after you lose it.

“It’s not in the breaking that impacts your child’s relationship,” she said. “It’s in the repairing.” She shared a moment when her two-year-old son had a meltdown and she didn’t respond the way she wanted to. Afterward, she sat him down and talked through it. “I could feel in him—he was so calm. He felt safe that we came back together.”

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That reframe—that your overstimulation isn’t a character flaw but an opportunity to model repair and self-awareness—is where this conversation moves beyond tips and into something that might actually shift how you feel about yourself as a parent.

“Love exactly where you’re at, including the times where you feel overstimulated and anxious,” Mah said. “Because if you can do that for yourself, love yourself unconditionally—that’s the level of love you’re also able to give.”

That kind of self-compassion, Mah says, is also tied to something bigger: surrendering the illusion that we can control any of this. The schedule, the tantrums, the way our kids turn out—we can apply effort, but the tighter we grip, the more exhausted and dysregulated we become. “The more we actually accept the hard truths—that we’re going to pass down some stuff, we’re going to mess up, we’re going to yell when we don’t want to—the more space there is for real love and real connection to build,” she said. It’s not about being less. It’s about holding it all a little more loosely.

How to bring this to your kids (without a curriculum)

If you’re wondering how to pass any of this on to your kids, Mah’s advice is disarmingly simple: lead by example. “All of these practices work at a deeper, subtler, energetic level, and kids can feel if it’s embodied or not,” she said. Telling your child to take a deep breath when you never breathe yourself lands differently than offering it from a place of genuine practice. Kids’ mental faculties are still developing, which actually makes them more attuned to the energy around them, not less. So instead of teaching mindfulness as a lesson, Mah suggests simply being present with your kid and letting them see you in it—noticing a tree together, marveling at something small, showing them what it looks like to pay attention to the world right in front of you. You don’t need a program. You just need to be there.

Your quick-reference cheat sheet

Rename it to tame it. “Stress” is vague. “Overstimulated” is specific—and specific means actionable. When you can name what’s happening, you can start to address it.

Move stuck energy. Dysregulation often means something’s under-expressed. Dance with your kid, shake it out, scream into a pillow. It doesn’t have to be quiet to be healing.

Ground through your feet. Anxiety is rising energy. Focusing on your feet—whether you’re standing, walking, or doing a few minutes of morning movement—shifts energy downward and out of the spiral.

Breathe without an agenda. At bedtime, try one minute of “I’m breathing in, I’m breathing out.” No goal, no optimization. Just space.

Repair > perfection. You’re going to lose it sometimes. What matters is coming back, talking through it, and showing your kid that rupture doesn’t mean the relationship is broken.

You don’t need to slow down your entire life. You just need a few seconds of presence, some tools that actually fit into the chaos, and the grace to know that imperfect is not the same as failing.

source https://www.mother.ly/health-wellness/mental-health/mel-mah-calm-overstimulated-mom/