More Parents Are Letting Their Adult Kids Live With Them Rent-Free In This Economy
When I was 26, with a newborn, I left my emotionally abusive marriage and moved back in with my mom. At that point, all three of her kids had left home — and then come back. Was it a little disheartening to start all over from my childhood bedroom with a brand new baby? A bit. But was it exactly what I needed to heal — and exactly what I needed for my future? Yes.
Being at home with my mom again was a gift in so many ways, but one of the biggest support systems she created was by not charging me rent to live there. Because of this, when I married my now-husband two years later, we had been able to save a down payment for our house and get a great interest rate on our loan because we were able to get our credit scores where they needed to be.
And in this economy? Parents who let their adult kids live rent-free are giving the same loving support.
In Reddit’s /parenting subreddit, one mom asked other parents of young adults how much they help. The original poster (OP) shared that her 23-year-old daughter moved back home after college and is trying to find a better job that fits her major. While she buys her own food and necessities, this mom said she doesn’t charge her daughter any rent to live there, and she also pays for her cell phone and car insurance, as both are under her name. She does expect her daughter to clean up after herself, but other than that, she doesn’t ask her for anything else. She even lets her daughter’s boyfriend stay the night.
“Rent in my area is easily 3k for a one bedroom, so to me, I'm just doing what I think is not a burden on me, and helps her out tremendously,” she says. “I've had a few friends think I am absolutely nuts and this is not what I should be doing. It was even stated as 'weird' by an ex that kicked his children out at 18. Background is her dad died when she was quite young, so it's just been me and her for years while I struggled. Life was hard. Now that I have a good income, I think we can relax a bit. Am I an anomaly?”
Ma’am — you’re a good parent.
Over the past few years, the amount of young adults living at home with their parents has actually decreased a bit — from 20% in 2022 to 18% in 2023. But there’s also a big factor in where these young adults live, with higher-cost-of-living states and regions seeing more young adults at home than in less expensive areas, like the midwest and the south. And financial reasons is the number one factor for these young adults.
So why not help your kids out if you can?
The comments on the Reddit post proved that, for most parents, if they are able to help their children like the OP said they could, then they absolutely would. And it feels like a no-brainer?
“My life would have been so much different if my parent had done this for me,” one commenter wrote.
“My father-in-law has been so generous to my partner and I, helping us out with down payments, going halfsies on a car, and letting us live with them at one point when it made financial sense. His philosophy is ‘I could hoard all this money and then you’d inherit it eventually after I die… or I can start giving you your inheritance now and be around to see you enjoy the benefits and grow your family,’” one commenter shared. “His help put us in a position to be able to have our son and he is the most devoted and loving grandpa ever!”
“Sounds fine and normal to me. She's not a shit bum and you're not financing a irresponsible lifestyle. Job market is incredibly hard right now, and especially hard for recent grads,” another wrote.
And I personally loved the amount of comments calling out OP’s “friends.” It feels archaic — especially in this economy — to argue that any young adult who needs financial help is a bum or a loser or taking advantage of a generous parent.
“Your 'friends' are cruel and living in the past,” one wrote.
“Your friends have no idea how difficult things are for this generation of young adults. You’re doing the right thing,” another added.
Some of the commenters suggested other ways to help — like having OP “charge” her daughter rent and then just put that money into a savings account for her to have when she can eventually move out. Another recommended having her daughter start up a 401(k) and save for her own future so she’s getting double the advantages of living at home.
And honestly, we forget that humans are communal — and 23 years old? That’s still a baby in the grand scheme of things. If OP and her daughter live well together and no one is feeling burdened or trapped, then there seems to be zero harm in this kind of arrangement.
“In most countries, you are just a normal parent doing what normal parents do — support their kids!” a commenter wrote.
(Especially in this economy.)
source https://www.scarymommy.com/parenting/more-parents-are-letting-their-adult-kids-live-rent-free
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