What To Say When Someone Comments On Your Body, According To Therapists

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Body talk is nothing new. Maybe growing up, you heard your family talking negatively about strangers out in public or about themselves in the mirror at home. Maybe you have struggled with diet culture and body image yourself and are just trying to get through the day without worrying about calories right now. And anyone who’s ever been told they really “bounced back” postpartum while wasting away from sleep deprivation knows the body comments come in at breakneck speed after pregnancy. In any case, knowing what to say when someone comments on your body in an unwelcome way can be surprisingly helpful and put you back in the position of power, conversationally speaking.

Unsolicited advice comes in many forms (parents know this better than anyone). And sure, it can feel good when you’re actively trying to put on muscle and someone notices how good your legs look in shorts. But it’s 2026, and we should all know by now that telling someone they look great when they’ve lost weight is like dancing on a landmine... but we also all know some people who haven’t learned this lesson.

“Body comments — whether compliments or disses — are a common part of Western culture. It can be difficult to tell when someone is criticizing you through a body comment versus offering what they believe is a genuine compliment,” says Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, LMFT, a psychotherapist, certified eating disorders specialist, and lead author of the forthcoming My Child Has an Eating Disorder. “Imagine hearing ‘You look great’ while you are hurting.”

“Any comment about your body can feel uncomfortable, regardless of the intention. Even something meant as a compliment, like ‘Wow, you look so good,’ can land in a way that ties worth to your body changing. When appearance gets praised, it can start to feel connected to your value as a person, which can increase anxiety about maintaining that body,” says Lindsie Meek, a psychotherapist, certified eating disorder specialist, and founder of HumanMend Psychotherapy in New York.

For the person receiving the comment, it can feel like suddenly all eyes in the room are assessing their body. So, how can you turn them away again and make it clear you’re not open to body talk?

What To Say When Someone Comments On Your Body

Let’s start with one thing you shouldn’t say: “Thank you.” It can unintentionally imply that you welcome the comments, Spotts-De Lazzer says. Here’s what you can say instead:

• “I feel well,” or, “I’m doing well, thank you.” — “Both responses offer a simple way to take the focus off appearance and put it back on connection or lived experience. Both also hint that body changes are not always desired; they can come from illness, stress, mental health struggles, and other difficult experiences,” Spotts-De Lazzer says.
• “Please don’t talk about my body,” or “Please don’t talk about my body. It makes me uncomfortable.” — These can be effective if we’re advising kids on body talk, or need to encourage ourselves while setting a boundary, says Spotts-De Lazzer.
• “What made you say that right now?” — This one can actually move a conversation forward, she says. “Sometimes the comment is more about energy, style, or something deeper that can be more accurately labeled. It can also invite people to be more precise and thoughtful about body comments.”
• “I’m wondering about X.” — “A subject shift without even metaphorically catching the body-comment ball and just letting it bounce off you can also be a powerful way to continue the conversation without staying in a body-focused space. For example: ‘Anyway, how have you been?’ or ‘Did you end up going on that trip?’” Spotts-De Lazzer says.
• In response to “Wow, you’re so thin,” you could say,
“This is actually just how my body is. It just is,” Meeks says.
• Nothing at all. — “Silence is a powerful and usually effective response to shut down body talk,” says Spotts-De Lazzer.

Some other options from Spotts-De Lazzer, Meeks, and Chloë Bean, LMFT, a somatic trauma therapist in Los Angeles, include:

• “I’d rather not talk about my body.”
• “That’s not something I want to get into.”
• “I’m trying not to focus on bodies. Can we talk about something else?”
• “I’m actively working on putting less focus on my physical appearance.”
• “Please don’t comment on my appearance.”
• “I know you don’t mean to offend me, but that comment doesn’t feel good for me.”
• “I’m focusing on how I feel, not how I look.”
• “That’s a sensitive topic, so I'd rather not go there.”
• “We don’t need to discuss our weight.”
• “I’m working on a healthier relationship with my body, so I’m stepping away from conversations like this.”
• “I’m not open to body comments, even positive ones.”
• “I know you mean well, and I’m not really comfortable with body comments.”
• “I know you mean well, but that’s not something I’m focusing on anymore.”
• “Can we keep bodies out of this, please? I’m so excited to connect with you and hear what’s going on for you.”
• “I know we’re used to talking about bodies, but I’m trying this new thing where I don’t make comments about my body or about others' bodies. Do you want to try it with me?”

Once you deploy one of these phrases, what next? How do you continue the conversation in a more productive way? It can be as simple as a change of subject, Bean says.

“After you set the boundary, try redirecting the conversation. That keeps you from getting pulled into defending yourself or managing the other person’s discomfort. You can change the conversation with something like, ‘Anyway, what’s been going well for you lately?’ Or, ‘I’d rather talk about what’s going on in your life.’”

If you’re close with the person who made the comment, you could also opt to be a little vulnerable. “Body image struggles are common, and naming that can sometimes open the door for a more meaningful conversation. That said, that’s not your job. You don’t owe anyone an explanation if you don’t feel comfortable sharing,” says Meeks.

If a comment about your body catches you off guard, or maybe you don’t respond how you wish to in the moment, no shame, she adds. “If it didn’t feel great to you, that’s information for next time. Responding to body comments takes practice. My biggest recommendation is to show yourself compassion no matter how you responded, and take inventory of how you felt right after the comment was made so you can respond in a similar way, or in a way that feels more aligned in the future. Regardless of how you respond, remind yourself that you don’t owe anyone an explanation about your body. You don’t have to justify why you don’t want to talk about it.”

And lastly, if there’s that one person in your life who just won’t knock it off with the body talk, remember that boundaries sometimes mean removing yourself from a situation, Bean says.

“You might need to say something like, ‘I’m serious, I’m not available for conversations about my body, your body, or anyone else’s.’ If they keep pressing, it’s OK to disengage, take space, end the call, or limit your time around them. For people who constantly bring everything back to food, weight, or appearance, the healthiest move is to stop engaging. Boundaries are not just about the words you say or don’t say. They're also about spaces and situations you remove yourself from.”

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