Between guided masturbation and mutual masturbation, it seems like there’s a new brand of the old habit every few months anymore. Well, this month is no different. So, what exactly is mindful masturbation, and why do sexperts recommend it so highly? Whether you’ve heard the term before or this is your first introduction, consider mindful masturbation like the “slow living” version of sexual self-pleasure; it’s all about being present, feeling everything, and zeroing in on just this moment.
What is mindful masturbation?
Just like mindfulness, a practice of noticing the sights, sounds, and sensations around you in order to ground yourself in the present, mindful masturbation is all about paying close attention to what’s happening in your body.
“Mindful masturbation invites people to slow down, focus on sensation, and really be present in their bodies and in the moment without shame or pressure. It’s an empowering way to approach sexual curiosity and exploration, and it can be an effective means to stop approaching masturbation as something rushed or routine,” says Angie Rowntree, ABS, board-certified sexologist and founder and filmmaker behind Sssh.com, an online destination for sex-positive, ethical porn.
And this isn’t just a bunch of woo-woo nonsense. Multiple studies by Dr. Lori Brotto at the University of British Columbia Sexual Health Research Laboratory have shown that mindfulness practices can lead to meaningful improvements in sexual desire and arousal in women who have previously struggled with both.
The term “mindful masturbation” frames solo pleasure as a form of self-connection, body awareness, and intentional exploration.
What are the benefits of mindful masturbation?
Brotto’s research involved a group of women doing mindful meditation daily over the course of a few months, which has been proven to have so many benefits for your mental and physical health, sexual bonuses aside. You could absolutely start there. If you have specific things you’d like to work on in your relationship with your body, sexuality, or shame, mindful masturbation may be worth a try too
“Mindful masturbation is ideal for any adult who wants to experience a more connected relationship with their body and pleasure,” says Rowntree. “If you experience fluctuations in your libido, are dealing with stress, or want to unlearn habits that cause you to rush or feel shame for masturbating, mindful masturbation is a great place to begin that journey.”
Mindful masturbation can help you slow down and reconnect with yourself, Rowntree explains. It’s a great tool for learning what you actually like and “what helps you relax into pleasure.”
“You can explore touch, pressure, rhythm, fantasy, toys, lube, audio erotica, visual stimulation, breath, edging, and different erogenous zones without worrying about anyone else’s expectations. You are in control, and you can change your mind at any time.”
Mindful Masturbation Tips To Try At Home
If you want to try a mindful masturbation session yourself, here’s Rowntree’s step-by-step guide:
- Choose a private time and comfortable space where you can truly decompress without interruption. Dim the lights, adjust the temperature, and definitely put away phones or screens. Gather anything that’ll make you more comfortable, like lube, pillows, a favorite scent, or soft music.
- Start with your breath: a few minutes of slow, deep breathing to arrive in the present moment. Notice any tension in your body and consciously soften it. This part is basically what you would do in any meditative practice to help your brain shift from mental chatter into honing in on bodily awareness. Start with short sessions (five to 10 minutes) and build from there.
- Begin with non-genital touch on the arms, legs, torso, and neck. Notice textures, temperatures, and pressures as you go. Move slowly toward more sensitive areas. Vary your touch (light strokes, firmer pressure, circles) and take note of what feels good. If you get caught up and finish, that’s fine — as long as you’re enjoying yourself.
- If you can wait, allow yourself to bask in the ebb and flow of your arousal, rather than pushing urgently toward a finish line. This builds your capacity for pleasure and reduces urgency.
- When you are finished, take a few moments to breathe and notice how your body is feeling. Indulge in some after-care: hydrate, journal, rest, or whatever feels good.
“Remember, mindful masturbation is a practice. There’s no perfect way to do it, only your way. Some days it may be a quick release. Some days it may be a long, sensual ritual. And some days, it may simply be a way to remember that your body is yours, your pleasure is valid, and there is always more to discover,” Rowntree says.
source https://www.scarymommy.com/lifestyle/what-is-mindful-masturbation-is-it-worth-trying
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